Fernando Luera, Match.com

Congratulations! You’ve found someone who piques your interest and makes your toes curl. This could be it — the match you’ve been waiting for! But isn’t it just your luck? Your match lives in another city.

Trust me, it could be worse.
A long-distance connection is admittedly difficult, especially during that initial stage when it’s all about “getting to know you” and “you’re too good to be true” and “where’ve you been all my life?” But there’s no need to despair, even for drama queens.

Some of us have the means to travel freely, including the necessary time, money and circumstances. If that’s the case, then the difficulty of being so far away is mostly neutralized. It’s nice if at least one of you has the freedom to visit regularly.

Others may be able to integrate business travel with stopovers to see your new match. Scheduling may not always work, but brief, intermittent visits are better than none at all.

Virtual dating.
Let’s face it, though, many of us won’t be able to have a jet-set courtship. So here are some alternatives to actually being there.

1. What would we do without email? It’s important to keep lines of communication open. Don’t delay your replies, even if you have to make them short. Take the time to compose a more thoughtful and romantic reply later. And send messages whenever you think of something to say — even if it isn’t your “turn.”

2. Share simultaneously. Share each other’s interests by agreeing to read the same book, watch the same movie or listen to the same CD. This activity will jump-start your conversations and help you get to know each other. Your choices will reveal personal tastes, and your discussions will reveal further important qualities like shared beliefs, attitudes and values.

3. Make a virtual date for online chat or a phone call. Schedule it at a mutually convenient time, which means don’t be late and don’t cancel. Make the date as “real” as possible. Set the mood with dim lights, candles and music. Dress up as if you were entertaining in person. It may seem odd, but special preparations will convince you that the date is “authentic,” which it is.

Missing you
Long-distance dating may have its difficulties, but it’s still dating. Remember to enjoy the excitement of getting to know your new connection. Enjoy the thoughts and images that sneak into your daily routine, that make you smile, that make the day fly by and that make all problems seem manageable. Enjoy the anticipation of that next communication — what’ll you say and what you want to hear.

Traveling? Connect with local singles in your destination city!

by Fernando Luera
© Match.com