Why did she stop emailing me and what should I do?

Dear Ron,

A woman started emailing me from Match.com, and we hit it off right away — or at least I thought. For a week we exchanged about twenty messages a day. She wrote me full pages about herself. We didn’t exchange numbers though, and then she stopped emailing me. I sent her two unanswered messages and never received a reply. Now it’s been two weeks, and I’m embarrassed about sending her another note. I don’t want to look desperate. But why would she just drop off like that? If I send her another note, what should I say?

Confused

Dear Confused,

You’ve likely encountered a routine peccadillo of internet flirting. Every guy has experienced the same in offline situations with just as much lingering befuddlement: The babe talks to you enthusiastically for a half-hour, makes serious eye contact, touches your forearms and then — poof! — she moseys off and never comes back. You’re left replaying the video, trying to troubleshoot what went wrong. The same’s happened here; she tried you out, extracted the necessary details to satisfy her curiosity, had fun and then decided to flit away to the next interesting flower.

It’s very tempting to expect that a flurry of fun, provocative emails will lead to a phone call and a date, but many people don’t follow that game plan. They’re very happy to explore compatibility through written discussions and then move on if they don’t feel an extraordinary kismet of chemistry with the individual who’s drooling at the other keyboard.

Look, a friend of mine — an attractive blonde woman — posted her free profile and received exactly 86 emails from men (and a few women) during the first week. A triumph! An impossible feat! The constraints of employment and sleep allowed her to start email relationships with only the most interesting suitors, and among them, only the few gems have a good shot at seeing Ali in the flesh. So don’t feel so lousy.

To put closure on things, send her one last, innocuous “How’s your week going?” note. If her silence was caused by a freak bus accident, she’ll be glad to hear from you and will reply accordingly. If not, you’ll get a polite “No, thanks!” or no reply at all. That only leaves with thousands of other quality, single women to contact.

Match Advice by Ron
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