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10
safety tips for your next date
Trish McDermott, VP Romance, Match.com
Match.com
offers a fun and secure environment to meet other quality
singles. Its also a great place to build loving and
trusting friendships that can lead to lasting, offline relationships.
Whether you decide to correspond online or meet members offline,
please use sound judgment and be responsible for your conduct.
In both the virtual and real worlds, common sense is your
best safety tool.
Start
slow
Watch out for someone who seems too good to be true. Begin
by communicating solely via Match.com Messenger or email,
then look for odd behavior or inconsistencies. The person
at the other end may not be who or what he or she says. Trust
your instincts. If anything makes you uncomfortable, walk
away for your own safety and protection.
Guard
your anonymity
All correspondence between Match.com members takes place through
our double-blind system, ensuring your true identity is protected
until you decide to reveal it. Never include your last name,
email address, home address, phone number, place of work or
any other identifying information in your free profile or
initial messages. When corresponding with another Match.com
member, turn off your email signature file. Stop communicating
with anyone who pressures you for personal information or
attempts in any way to trick you into revealing it.
Exercise
caution and common sense
Careful, thoughtful decisions generally yield better dating
results. Guard against trusting the untrustworthy; suitors
must earn your trust gradually, through consistently honorable,
forthright behavior. Take all the time you need to test for
a trustworthy person and pay careful attention along the way.
If you suspect someone is lying, he or she probably is, so
act accordingly. Be responsible about romance, and dont
fall in love at the click of a mouse. Dont become prematurely
intimate with someone, even if that intimacy only occurs online.
If you mutually decide to cross the point of no return, be
smart and protect yourself. The U.S. Centers for Disease Control
and Prevention provide some of the most current information
available about sexually transmitted diseases and preserving
your health.
Request
a photo
A photo will give you a good idea of the person's appearance,
which may prove helpful in achieving a gut feeling. In fact,
its best to view several images of someone in various
settings: casual, formal, indoor and outdoors. If all you
hear are excuses about why you can't see a photo, consider
that he or she has something to hide. Since Match.com offers
free scanning services to its members, theres no reason
someone shouldnt be able to provide you a photo.
Chat
on the phone
A phone call can reveal much about a persons communication
and social skills. Consider your security and do not reveal
your personal phone number to a stranger. Try a cell phone
number instead or use local telephone blocking techniques
to prevent your phone number from appearing in Caller ID.
Only furnish your phone number when you feel completely comfortable.
Meet
when YOU are ready
The beauty of meeting and relating online is that you can
collect information gradually, later choosing whether to pursue
the relationship in the offline world. You never are obligated
to meet anyone, regardless of your level of online intimacy.
And even if you decide to arrange a meeting, you always have
the right to change your mind. Its possible that your
decision to keep the relationship at the anonymous level is
based on a hunch that you cant logically explain. Trust
yourself. Go with your instincts.
Watch
for red flags
Pay attention to displays of anger, intense frustration or
attempts to pressure or control you. Acting in a passive-aggressive
manner, making demeaning or disrespectful comments or any
physically inappropriate behavior are all red flags. You should
be concerned if your date exhibits any of the following behavior
without providing an acceptable explanation:
·
Provides inconsistent information about age, interests, appearance,
marital status, profession, employment, etc.
· Refuses to speak to you on the phone after establishing
ongoing, online intimacy.
· Fails to provide direct answers to direct questions.
· Appears significantly different in person from his
or her online persona.
· Never introduces you to friends, professional associates
or family members.
Meet
in a safe place
When you choose to meet offline, always tell a friend where
you are going and when you will return. Leave your dates
name and telephone number with your friend. Never arrange
for your date to pick you up at home. Provide your own transportation,
meet in a public place at a time with many people around,
and when the date is over, leave on your own as well. A familiar
restaurant or coffee shop, at a time when a lot of other people
will be present, is often a fine choice. If you decide to
move to another location, take your own car. When the timing
is appropriate, thank your date for getting together and say
goodbye.
Take
extra caution outside your area
If you are flying in from another city, arrange for your own
car and hotel room. Do not disclose the name of your hotel
and never allow your date to make the arrangements for you.
Rent a car at the airport and drive directly to your hotel.
Call your date from the hotel or meet at the location you
have already agreed to. If the location seems inappropriate
or unsafe, go back to your hotel. Try to contact your date
at that location or leave a message on a home machine. Always
make sure a friend or family member knows your plans and has
your contact information. And if possible, carry a cell phone
at all times.
Get
yourself out of a jam
Never do anything you feel unsure about. If you are in any
way afraid of your date, use your best judgment to diffuse
the situation and get out of there. Excuse yourself long enough
to call a friend for advice, ask someone else on the scene
for help or slip out the back door and drive away. If you
feel you are in danger, call the police; its always
better to be safe than sorry. Never worry or feel embarrassed
about your behavior; your safety is much more important than
one persons opinion of you.
While
liars, cheaters and imposters certainly ply their craft on
the Web, youll also find them in nightclubs and offline
dating services, cocktail parties or even sitting across from
you at your local café. Regardless of where you meet
someone, dating is never a risk-free activity, but a little
caution will reduce your risk in matters of the heart.
Now
it's time for safety-conscious you to use a quick search to
find a quality date!
10
safety tips for your next date by Trish McDermott, VP Romance
© Match.com
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